Poets & Thieves Quality Secondhand Books in Talks with President Obama

Albert Park, AUSTRALIA: Poets & Thieves have today announced that they have reopened diplomatic ties to the United States of America following the historical inauguration of Barack Obama. Following similar overtures from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Cuba's Raúl Castro, the small rogue bookstore located at 1 Victoria Avenue, Albert Park (tram no. 1 from Swanston St, stop 29) have likewise sought to end years of diplomatic estrangement and trade restrictions from the superpower.

The root of the impasse is well-known: on his first state visit to Poets & Thieves, then-President Bill Clinton browsed for a couple of hours and upon finding a suitable gift "for his wife", Clinton then pressed Poets & Thieves for a $1 discount off the $5 book. Unable to comply, Nathan Joyce flatly refused. "That book is cost price." It was then that Clinton turned to reporters and uttered the immortal line, "Mark my words. Poets & Thieves Quality Secondhand Books, a long-time friend and ally of my great nation, blows." Nathan Joyce then returned the book, a Danielle Steele, to the shelf. Clinton never returned, though he managed to enact a trade embargo, disallowing all American booksellers and public to sell to or buy from the tiny bookstore.

The subsequent presidency of George W. Bush saw matters reach dire new lows, though his planned invasion of Poets & Thieves was halted at the last moment when the store agreed to cease manufacture of nuclear arms and to put an end to the sale of all Janet Evanovichs, a move that drew widespread condemnation from readers of terrible books everywhere.

After the inauguration of Barack Obama, Poets & Thieves were among the first to receive a call from the new president. A spokesman from Poets & Thieves was today able to confirm that the New Leader of the Free World had requested some books be put aside for his daughters, and had not, as yet, requested a discount. The spokesman then said that Poets & Thieves, in a bold gambit, were able to convince the president to visit the store and hold a book signing for his two books, The Audacity of Hope and Dreams from My Father as soon as he brought peace to the Middle East.

In related news, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton refused to be drawn on whether or not she would be visiting the store. "Everyone who knows me knows I wouldn't be seen dead with a Danielle Steele. I'm sorry, but I don't know if I can visit that store. Of course, what Barack chooses to do is entirely up to him. He is, of course, pwezzy-dent", she said, rolling her eyes.